I Hate to Say Goodbye

It’s the last day of my Christmas Vacation.  I’ve already received countless emails about courses, syllabi, reading that should be finished or reviewed before class.  This is probably one of the most nerve-wracking feelings.  Sure, I’m extremely excited to be back at school.  I’m at my best when I have countless projects to tackle, a schedule set in place, and all of my friends or family or people to talk to around me.  But how can I get back into that place?  When will I reach the age where I never get homesick?

This week, I will be constantly trying to figure out when to study, when to work out, what to eat (healthily), how much time to spend on each class, how much to freak out.  Ok, just kidding on the last one, but I am a perfectionist, so it might happen.

Probably thinking, “What’s the point of the title?” Well, it’s just that.  I HATE to say goodbye.  I don’t like knowing it’s the last time I may ever see someone I love.  I despise knowing we are all aging and it will never be the same again.  Usually when I leave home, I’m a mess but this time was alright.  I had Meghan with me (the calm, cool, collected child who never seems to get things wrong.  That’s what I’m for I guess, the guinea pig) and we were heading to my grandparents in Santa Barbara.  But leaving SB was a little tough.  I know it’s not the same to spend every day doing the same thing, I just didn’t want to return to reality so soon.

Life as Peter Pan might be pretty interesting, but then again, he doesn’t get to see and experience the beauty of getting older.  See, if I hadn’t aged, I might still be stuck in that messed up world of high school.  Those of you still in high school, just keep persevering  life gets better.  There is a world of opportunities out there waiting for you.

It’s tough to know that my school breaks are soon to be over.  I guess as kids we don’t adequately appreciate the days and weeks reprieve from school. But, instead of moaning and groaning, I plan to enjoy each day, each moment, and yes, each class and homework/test assignment.

Rather than constantly looking at the past (which I have done and has only caused me grief), I plan to look to the future.  I have lists upon lists and countless ideas of what I would like to do.  Just look at my Pinterest boards for instance.  Simply browsing them gives me a whirl of inspiration, a leap of faith, and an ounce of drive.  What can I accomplish? Who can I meet? What can I make? How can I grow?  Sounds like a solid plan, don’t you think?

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
– Albert Einstein

So, not exactly my usual postings, but I’ll be whipping up a couple of recipes and the result of my t-shirt blanket extravaganza (and mistake…oops) later today!

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3 thoughts on “I Hate to Say Goodbye

  1. I think this xmas vacation was really when it hit that I was in the real world and not the school vacation world. it makes me miss those long school breaks a lot, also makes me nervous knowing that going home gets harder and harder with work. appreciate what you have now!

  2. Saying goodbye to my family after school breaks was always really hard for me too. But just remember you are almost DONE with college and you may be back close to your family indefinitely after that (at least it’s the case for me). I miss college a lot and wish I appreciated the actual process a little more while in it rather than getting stressed about assignments/tests. Enjoy it girl 🙂 I think it’s great you are choosing to focus on aspirations and goals and Pinterest is such a great tool for that.

  3. I might do a post about my experience with goodbyes in a couple weeks when it’s my turn. I hate it too. So much. Tears are inevitable each time I go to the airport. You’re going to do amazing this semester. It is so weird to think that pretty soon we won’t have these two month breaks anymore. At least you enjoyed your time at home!

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