Something About Change

In some ways I can relate to Jennifer Lawrence’s character.  Change is tough, especially when you think your world as running smoothly.  What is the point in rocking the boat if there is no need to?  Goodness knows I have had my moments, breaking down when it gets tough, rebelling against change, crying that it was not fair.   Well, It’s about growth, expanding one’s abilities, and character.  Those rough moments will only make you a stronger person, whether you like it or not.

Most of us are pretty fortunate when we grow up because school and sports help us find that go-to friend group.  What happens when we move out and move on?  The difficulty and effort that goes into establishing your life in a new school, a new city.  The pressure to find the right friends, to feel welcome in an unknown environment, to feel “normal”.

I’ve spend countless hours thinking about what type of people I should and do hang out with, what brings me happiness, and what I should do with my life.  Goodness, aren’t those the simple questions in life.

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These are the times that are tough, but are also the times in which I thrive.  The feeling of starting new, a fresh slate, putting your past behind you; it’s invigorating.  Any bad memories are only life lessons and they don’t have to be repeated.  You have the world at your finger tips and starting over enables you to redefine yourself or rediscover yourself.   I spent years worrying about what others think about me, when it’s how I think about myself that matters most.  Once I found strength in myself, my independence, and my quirky personality, I realized I could conquer any amount of change.

The biggest fear I have today is losing those that I love.  Not necessarily in terms of life and death, but the idea that those who I have spent so much time with, shared so many memories, can be gone in a blink of an eye.  Sure I may have idealized some of these memories – thinking of them in a more positive light but that’s how the brain works.

What’s odd and sometimes frustrating to me is that the friendships that I have made may not exist a year from now.  Even the people that I hang out with in the city, the wonderful friendships I’ve made, may slowly disappear in a month or year from now.  I hold onto these moments, worried that when they leave or when I leave, I’ll be alone.  In reality, we are always changing and things are never truly stable.  This it the beauty of life because we are always graced with a new surprise each day.  There are new people to meet, relationships to establish, and memories to be made.

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I’ve told myself that for every worry there must be a solution or a positive thought.   People come in and out of our lives.  While they may not stay forever, they often make a lasting impact and teach you things, about life or yourself, that you could not have learned on your own.

What surprises me is that I’ve become closer with a few of my high school girlfriends. I’ve also become close with a college friend who  girl who I really only hung out with towards the end of senior year of college.  Why I didn’t hang out with all of these girls sooner?  No clue but I’m blessed to call them my best friends now.  For now, it’s about navigating the present and the future one step at a time.  It’s about putting faith in those around you and learning how to trust.

“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.” – Unknown

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3 thoughts on “Something About Change

  1. I struggle with this concept as well. I actually hate change so much. Sometimes I get excited about it, but then I realize what it actually means. Graduating, for example. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited for something in my life, but then I realized I will never work at my running store again, never get to partake in the weekly November Projects in Baltimore, never live within 5 minutes of most of my closest friends… and then I think about all of the good that will come of it which far outweighs the cons. Change is a scary thing and it’s definitely that unknown that makes me want to resist it. I LOVE the quote you ended with. So perfect 🙂

  2. Change can be hard, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that change is much easier if you have good friends around for it. I’ve also learned that friendships ebb and flow but the really great friends can pick up right where they left off 🙂

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