There are days for cookie recipes and days for deep thoughts. I’m never really sure when to post which but it is what it is. The Internet is a strange place since whatever is written, posted, or uploaded, is eternally out there for the world’s consumption. Sounds exciting, right? Anyhoo, let’s dive into a pensive post. 😉 I can’t help it, I just adore alliteration.
Truth is … I hate to “rock the boat”. I was putting together a shelving unit from Bed, Bath, and Beyond on Sunday and didn’t really realize that my hammering might annoy the people on the floor below me. No, this was not a blonde moment, I just have never lived in apartments, so I’m not used to thinking about the hundreds of other people in the floors above, below, and rooms around me. The girls below us came to ask what the racket was about and claimed to have heard screaming from our side of the building at all hours of the day and week. Strange because none of us are ever in the apartment during the day. Anyways, I was a little unnerved for the remainder of the night.
Truth is … watching Meghan’s race over the weekend brought up a few thoughts and probably a twinge of jealousy. Let me first say that I’m SO proud of her for her accomplishments and very excited to see them race next week in Indiana at Nationals. That being said, I miss being on a team and the built-in friendships.
I love seeing how close she has gotten to her teammates, the dedication she has to her training – both with running and nutrition, and the adventures they go on together. Sometimes I do go back and think if my college selection was right for me. Maybe I would have been happier somewhere else, running on a team, competing with a legitimate triathlon club, becoming more involved in my sorority or athletic department.
What it comes down to is experience and it’s taken me a good 5 or so years to come to terms with this. I can’t regret any of my decisions because no matter how terrible or even wonderful they were, they all make me who I am today. Anyone searching for happiness knows that we have to let go of these types of thoughts in order to move on with our lives. My best friend Laura and I had many long conversations regarding this subject this summer and continue to swap thoughts and articles to this day. Last night she sent me probably the best (or most comprehensive) list yet and I really think it’s spot-on. This list of the “20 Things You Need To Let Go To Live a Happy Life” is extremely perceptive and often obvious. There is so much we hold onto in our lives, whether it’s pleasing others, holding onto grudges, or eyeing how someone has it “better” than we do.
I do have to give credit to my family for telling me a number of these over and over and over. But, sometimes it takes a third party or one’s self (aka yours truly) to actually clue into what’s bothering them in their life.
Truth is … I love working out. I genuinely enjoy going to a spin class where they blast the music (although must be good music, so it’s subjective) or running around a beautiful trail while chatting it up with my running friends.
Truth is … I’ve been frustrated because pretty much every other person I meet here in New York seems to be betting on my demise. I would be RICH if I counted the number of times people asked if I knew New York had a brutal winter. Really people? Then why are you still living here? I acknowledge the statement and continue to defend my case – the purpose of my move was to learn. I plan to learn about living in a city, meeting brand new people and forming relationships based on similar habits and interests. I plan to learn how to truly live on my own, without the reliance of family (except the countless phone calls home…because that never will change no matter where you put me in the world, even Southern California) and I plan to become stronger because of it.
There are a number of people I admire in my life, all of whom have lived outside their comfort zone and the California state lines. There’s my mom who lived for a year in England and my mom and dad when they lived in Chicago while my dad went to Northwestern as well as with me in England for 2-3 years. There’s my aunt Katie who lived in Washington D.C., probably around the same age. There’s my grandma Nance and grandpa Bob who moved around constantly, learning the ropes in different states and different towns.
Not all encounters have been negative. In fact it was funny at work when I ran into one of the ladies on my floor in the kitchen. I had only met her two minutes previously and she was already sharing her Thanksgiving plans with me. I expressed interest in them and she asked if I knew much about South Carolina. No ma’am, I’m from Southern California. She chucked and said, “oh that’s why you are so perky”. Well, I guess I have maintained some California charm 😉
Truth is … I tend to like my pictures about 24 hours after I’ve taken them. Usually in the moment I’ll try to find at least one thing wrong with what I’m wearing, how we are standing, etc. But after about 24 hours, those insecurities usually fade away. Try it out and let me know what you think!
Truth is … I went to an orientation for New York Cares, a volunteer organization in the city and am beyond excited to help out. I didn’t really grow up volunteering per se, anything beyond what was necessary for CSF or Girl Scouts, but feel the urge to get involved with the city I live in now. Additionally, I feel so blessed for the opportunities I have had, the life that I have been able to live, and would really like to help others achieve their dreams.
Truth is … it pains me to see someone upset, especially if they are my friends and family. It practically kills me if I can’t jump in and change the situation and make things all better. But, just like above, these are all moments we live through and learn from.
“One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
– Sigmund Freud